From the Beginning

In The BeginningWhere do I begin?  From the VERY beginning?  The story where God made Heaven and Earth?

OK: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters.  God said, Let there be light: and there was light.  God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.  God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. The evening and the morning were the first day.

On the Second Day, He created the Firmament (The heavens, where the stars shine…)

On the Third Day, he created Dry Ground and separated it from the Water (The land and the sea…)

On the Fourth Day, he created the Sun, Moon and Stars (Probably the planets too to float in the Firmament…)

On the Fifth Day, he created the Fish and Birds (Some of his early models, experiments if you will…)

On the Sixth day, he created the Creatures on Land (You know, all our friends extinct or not.   A lot of these were models too.  More experiments. It took a long time so as he got better at it, we ended up with what we have today…)

On the Seventh day, God Rested (After all that he realized he wasn’t getting any sleep and he was fucking tired!)  On the Seventh day, he probably also created Alcohol.

After he rested, for some reason he created Man.  The top of the heap, the one with a brain and with choices to make. But the man needed help, so God in his infinite wisdom created Woman.  From one of Adam’s ribs, God modeled the bane of Man’s existence; Woman.  Woman being the snake, er um, curious one she is, disobeyed God and ate from “The tree of knowledge of good and evil.”

Big mistake.  Or was it? Now I know what happens when I drink, and it’s not pretty.  Some people think it’s all women’s fault, but she WAS tempted, and sometimes we can’t help what we do when we’re tempted.  So Man (and Woman) used to live in the garden, but we got kicked out and sent out to till the fields.  Not fun, but it’s a living.  Every time I think about it, I have resentments.  I didn’t ask to be here, but here I am and I better make the best of it!

I write this blog because it makes me think.  Like reading Shakespeare, where we learn a LOT about how people operate, I write and I sometimes get some enlightenment and learn a little about me.   By reading this crap, maybe you’ll learn about me; maybe you’ll learn something about yourself.

Language, you know, conveys thoughts and ideas.  Since we can’t read each other’s minds, we talk to express what’s on our minds and to let others in on it.  In the film ‘Dead Poet’s Society’, Robin Williams (god rest his crazy soul) plays John Keating, an English teacher.  He asks his class why language was invented:

Keating: Language was developed for one endeavor, and that is – Mr. Anderson? Come on, are you a man or an amoeba?

Keating: Mr. Perry?

Perry: To communicate.

Keating: No! To woo women! So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys – to woo women – and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do…

So to let you in on what’s on my mind, and to learn a little about using language and wooing women, read on…